Creating a wedding guest list can be one of the most challenging parts of planning, but with a few strategies, you can keep it manageable while minimizing the guilt.

Storytime:

By far, the hardest part of planning our wedding two years ago was curating our guest list. I have a huge family (I’m talking 4 parents, 6 siblings, and 8 grandparents… that doesn’t even include extended family and friends!). So making a reasonable guest list without hurting feelings was really important to me.

I didn’t want to invite people I didn’t know, I felt pressured from some family members, and I didn’t want to add on unnecessary costs. No matter how many people you’re planing on inviting, I want to empower you to invite only people you truly want there — whether that’s 10 or 400.

FACT:

If you’re on a budget, this is even more important. Guest count is the biggest pricing factor when it comes to venues, caterers, and sometimes decor and florists. Meaning,

the more guests you have, the more expensive the wedding.

So if I’m wanting to keep that number small, how do we know who to invite or not invite?

Here are some tips on how to approach it:

1. Start with the Essentials:
   • Begin with a core list of family and close friends—those people you can’t imagine your day without. This ensures that the most meaningful people are accounted for right away.
2. Set Clear Priorities:
   • Think about your budget, venue capacity, and wedding style. Are you envisioning an intimate gathering or a big celebration? Your answer will help set the parameters for your guest list.
3. Consider the Plus-Ones Carefully:
   • It’s fine to limit plus-ones to guests who are married, engaged, or in long-term relationships. While you want everyone to have fun, plus-ones can quickly inflate your list.
4. Create Rules and Stick to Them:
   • For example, you might decide to only invite friends you’ve seen in the past year or to include only family members with whom you’re close. Whatever criteria you choose, being consistent helps keep emotions in check. Check out my “rules” below, which should help a ton!!!
5. Explain Your Choices Thoughtfully:
   • If you anticipate hurt feelings, consider a gentle conversation with those who may be disappointed. A simple, heartfelt explanation can go a long way. For example, explaining that you’re keeping things small or working within budget limits can help friends and family understand.
6. Remember the Day Is About You Two:
   • It’s easy to feel pressure, but remember that this day is about celebrating your love. Choose people who support and uplift you both.

Who should we invite to our wedding?👇

There are endless methods to help you decide who to invite/not invite to your wedding. But here are a few that helped me!

Use these "rules" to guide your thought process and avoid "guest list guilt." 

Just because you have 20 cousins doesn’t mean you have to invite them all if you don’t want to 😘

The “Past, Present, & Future” Rule:

Ask yourself: when has _ person been in my life? The past, present, or future?

How this works:

This rule says you should only invite people who have been in 2 or all 3 of those time periods. If they’re a coworker now, but you have no intention of having them in your future 2-3 years from now, they don’t get an invite. If they were in your past, but you don’t have much of a relationship now, no invite. Just because you’ve had _ friend for 10+ years, but you don’t really see them being in your future, doesn’t mean they automatically need an invite. By contrast, your new bestie that’s only been in your life for 6 months but is now a ride-or-die might get an invite.

Other helpful ways to pair down your guest list:

1. Have you had meaningful interactions with in the last 1 year? If not, they don’t get an invite.
2. Make 3 lists — who you’d invite if you were eloping, who you’d invite to a big birthday party (typically more short term friends, maybe some more extended family), and who you invite if you had room to spare in your guest count. Then sit down with your 3 lists, and fill up to your ideal guest count number with those lists, starting with the first one. If you have room to spare after inviting your “eloping” and “birthday party” lists, then yay! You have room to invite some extra folks.
3. Would they invite you to their wedding? If no, they don’t get an invite.
4. If you’ve never met them, do they get an invite?
5. If you had to invite (and pay for) them twice instead only once, would they still get the invite?

I hope these methods help! Ultimately, the guest list is about creating a day filled with people who mean the most to you. By setting priorities and boundaries, you’ll have a celebration that feels just right.

Disclaimer: There’s no right or wrong way to do a wedding… but as your resident hype-girl, I want you to cheer you on to do what YOU want for your special day!

Want to make sure every special moment with your favorite people is captured beautifully? Let’s chat about how we can create unforgettable, candid photos that feel just like you. Reach out today, and let’s start planning the memories you’ll cherish for a lifetime!

xoxo, Bree