So you’re planning your wedding and your photographer asks if you want to do a first look.

You’re hesitant. You’ve always dreamed about the day you’ll walk down the aisle and see your fiancé(e) for the first time that day. Cue mental fireworks!

Everyone in your family says it’s bad luck to see your spouse before the ceremony, but you keep hearing about this thing called a “first look.” You’re intrigued, but are sure it’s not really for you.

As a photographer (and as a normal human who has seen the benefits and wonderfulness that comes with a first look), I highly recommend doing it.

I actually think it’s more special, more romantic, and will make the experience of the day smoother and better than seeing your spouse at the end of the aisle. Here’s why.

For those who haven’t heard of a first look:

It’s a moment when you get to see your spouse before the ceremony (characterized by emotional & beautiful peace that sets the day up for calm and joy).

It’s about YOU (traditional isn’t).

When you see someone down the aisle, it’s the same reaction as a first look would be (and that reaction is AMAZINGGG). However, traditional looks don’t create a space to really be in the moment. You’re trying to not trip in the grass with your heels, you’re paying attention to the crowd of people staring at you, and you’re memorizing your vows in your head.

With a first look, all walls come down. You’re allowed to react and be in the moment. There’s a space to be able to talk to the love of your life and hug, kiss, cry, freak out, etc.

My favorite part is how you get to make it your own. I’ve seen couples read private vows to each other, read letters, pray together, talk about their future, talk about this day, and tell them how smokin’ hot they look.

Private moment (you might not get it again)

First looks are all about being in the moment and getting some private time with your future spouse!

With all the activities going on all day making your wedding the best day ever, it sometimes becomes hard to take a private moment away to yourselves. Normally, dinner is supposed to be the time where you hang out just the two of you at the sweetheart table, but we all know your loved ones are going to want a moment with you at that time.

The reality is, unless you schedule it in, you likely won’t have much time to hang out with your new spouse on your wedding day. A first look is a great way to make sure you have this time! After that, celebrating and dancing with your guests!

If you book me, I’ll give you guys private space during your first look where I’ll let you have your time by yourselves. I’ll also make sure that couples photos will be private and special as well so you can relish in the fact that you’re MARRIED WOW!

Calm the chaos

Every single one of my couples that do a first look say it’s so worth it because it calms the chaos.

With all the noise of Usher’s “Yeah” and Lizzo bumping in the background, family members needing things of you, & making sure everything is running smoothly, this is your moment of quiet.

There’s also something about seeing your best friend that completely washes away your nerves before you wed.

It gives you time to actually live in the moment

When you’re thinking about your wedding timeline, keep in mind that the coordinator usually creates the timeline for the day. Sadly, sometimes this means they don’t allocate enough time for the photographer to take photos (which means the cute robe shots, wedding party, and couples pics will be cut short).

However (shameless plug here), for my weddings, I work together with you and the coordinator to create the best timeline so everything will run smoothly & seamlessly. 90 days out, I’ll send you a questionnaire that will help build this! That way, there’s enough time for all the photos you want, the coordinator will be happy, and it’ll give you time to actually enjoy your wedding instead of scrambling to do things because there’s no time.

Doing a first look gives you time to breathe during your wedding.

With crazy timelines and hair and makeup running behind, you need to have time allotted for breathing. By doing a first look, it’ll feel like a break at the perfect time.

It will also mean there’s more time to breathe later in the day when you take photos before the ceremony. See below.

so you can enjoy cocktail hour & reception

“Wait what?! You mean not doing a first look impacts cocktail hour AND reception?!” Yep. Lemme explain.

Cocktail hour started as an event with the intention to provide a time for couples to take all their photos in 1 hour. However, it was a given couples would not be able to have a drink and mingle. It also quickly became obvious that 1 hour is not a lot of time to get all photos done (I know, sounds crazy right?!). If you don’t get the family photos with your cousin and favorite grandma during cocktail hour, it might mean you have to forfeit that picture, or have to take it with flash at the reception (which means your photog will pull you away from eating).

A lot of my couples are all about partying and wanting to have a good time at their wedding. They want to get the pretty photos out of the way early so they can unwind and party it up the rest of the night.

By doing a first look, all we have to do is a few sunset pics (optional) and just family photos during cocktail hour. That means you’re good to have fun for the rest of the time after! Most of my couples get to mingle at cocktail hour if they do a first look, AND I won’t pull them away during the reception. Win-win!

Married in fall? You might not have a choice

Story time.

One of my bffs got married this fall, and she wanted a traditional look. I wanted her to have what she wanted, and we had everything lined up to do it without any problems. However, her ceremony was at 5pm… and the sun set at 5:30… *cue panic*

Which means we would’ve had 30 minutes to take all family photos, all wedding party photos, and all couples photos. There was no way it was gonna happen.

She ended up doing a frist look, and LOVED IT.

She didn’t want to risk missing photos she would have wanted & didn’t want to be a mess by the end. It was better to do a first look so we could take couple & wedding party photos before the ceremony.

If you know you don’t want to do a first look, ask your venue if you can have the ceremony start at least 2 hours before the sun sets, so you can still get the photos that you want!

You’ll still get the “down the aisle” moment

You might be thinking “if I do a first look, then the moment down the aisle won’t be as special.”

Let me just say that every time I’ve had a couple do a first look, the moment down the aisle is still just as magical. The moment is still there. Tears are still shed and hearts are pumping just as fast.

A first look does not replace the moment down the aisle. It just lets you have two moments instead of one.

I hope you’ve found this helpful & encouraging. I’d love to know your thoughts!

Why or why aren’t are you choosing a first look?

What did you learn from this post?

share an experience if you did a first look!